A big part of my life have been rejections and failures. It has got me down every time. When I was younger I was not good at dealing with those things. Being a sensitive person it killed me inside, sometimes sending me into a spiral of self-destructive thoughts.
The worst period was during ages 13-19. I just wasn’t strong enough to handle that. Failure meant shame.
Not being able to succeed in sports and mathematics at school. Being the last one who gets picked on the football team. I wanted to succeed and kick ass,but I wasn’t. I wasn’t popular. Got no attention from the girls.
I especially hated my teenage years. Experiencing failure and feelings of not living up to society’s standards. You are not equipped to deal with those feelings at that young age, you learn as you go. I m so glad I don’t have to relive those painful times again.
For a sensitive person, especially if you are a teenager all this can be soul crushing. It can damage your self-esteem.This might lead us to very bad paths like numbing our bad feelings with drugs,food,porn, violence anything that will take that shame away for a little while.
We all know that feeling when you put your heart to something,you give your best and you fail. It is one of the worst feelings. Some give up when failure hits, I have done that many times in my life . You try and you try, setback comes you are miserable. All that work for nothing?
After many failures and rejections you might start thinking,what’s the point of all this? Why even try? What’s the gain? Am I worth anything? Does the world even care?
Failed & succeed
My idol Jean Claude Van Damme tried out for movie business in Hollywood for many years, after getting rejected left and right, he wanted to give up many times until he finally got his breakthrough role in the kickass martial arts classic “Bloodsport”. Check that movie out!
Everybody told Sylvester Stallone for years that he would never succeed as an actor before he made “Rocky” and proved everybody wrong.
Van Gogh sold only one painting and he died soon after that. Which is very sad indeed.
It is okay to fail. Everybody does that sometimes. Because let’s face it who cares? The World doesn’t care. Our lives are our lives. We shouldn’t be accountable for anyone except ourselves
Not trying is what kills you. When you get in the mud you at least know that are doing something about it. You are alive. I wanna feel that. I maybe did not get what I want, but I got the rush of trying to get it.
I stopped caring when I realized that you cannot control everything. Life is such a complex thing. You never know what might happen,you might die today. Everybody fails at some point in their lives. It´s inevitable. Maybe this failure is a path to some else opportunity.One door closes another opens. Of course, when it’s all happening its pretty fucking hard to just stay positive and optimistic.
“What If” is the worst question to ask yourself. When you die you will know that at least you tried. You got smacked down,you got up. Plan your strategy again and go. You see that girl, go approach her, you might get rejected you might not. It doesn’t matter. It feels bad but it doesn’t matter in the long run. Enjoy the process when it feels like shit.
“Every failure is a brick in my palace”
Good mind trick is to imagine gaining strength & wisdom from rejections,failures, and setbacks.
When I lift at the gym or run I imagine my muscles tearing up and it building back up stronger. When I got hit in the nose really hard at thai boxing practice I imagined my nose growing stronger after it hurt like hell.
Imagine building an armour around you after every setback. I literally imagine growing inside and becoming a more bulletproof version of myself. I have a lot of weird freaky thought patterns. You can create your own.
All I can do is try and try and see where it does it take me. Giving my best at times when it matters the most. If I fail If I fail. I can’t be perfect neither can you. Let´s keep going.