Have you ever had that feeling when you are so happy, carefree, relaxed and you notice that people are texting you to hang out, girls are much friendlier and want to see you?You send some messages on tinder and most of the girls reply you back. It seems that the world is smiling with you.
Then when you are anxious, low, outcome dependent, you want something badly and it feels like nobody is receptive, everything is closed. There is a wall between things you want.
When I m needy I usually I feel like the universe is not giving me anything. I m all alone and nobody cares.
Neediness is extremely unattractive. Nobody wants to be around needy person.How do I know this?
I was needy myself, extremely needy.
8 years ago I wasn’t happy with myself. I didn’t love myself. I didn’t respect myself.I desperately wanted friends, love , to be accepted. Those things felt so out of reach. The more I wanted them the more they ran away from me.
It’s like people and the whole universe is sensing your neediness and punishing you for it.
When I learned to create a fun vibe and good feelings from the inside I started noticing all those things I wanted, started coming to me. Opportunities arose to my way. New relationships were being presented I was finally getting the love that I was chasing for years.
When I was okay with being myself that’s when people were okay with being with me.
I felt like a puzzle have been finally getting put together piece by piece.
I bought a book called the “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne when I was 21, the whole book talked about the law of attraction and how to change your thoughts to get things in life that you want. Book had a nice message.
I started monitoring my thoughts and my neediness. I started doing mind tricks in my head by imagining already being a confident, happy & successful guy. I kept erasing that needy vibe from me.
When you don’t need something that’s when the magic happens.Universe opens and gives it to you. Sounds like bullshit I know but over the years, I have been thinking that maybe there are forces greater than us up there. There are many things that we don’t understand.
Maybe we can make a huge difference by switching how we feel and think? The power of thoughts.
I want it but I don’t need it.
That’s my mantra.
My first one night stand from a bar was when I was 21 years old.I was tired, I didn’t want to go anywhere. My friend managed me to drag me out of the house. “Just a couple of drinks and I ‘ll go home,” I said. 3 hours later I was drunk on vodka tonics, happy as a kite, dancing my ass off.
2 blonde girls started dancing around us. They introduced themselves and we sat at their table. The girl who was apparently interested in me was her sister. I didn’t have any plans to hook up with anybody,I didn’t even take condoms with me.
So one thing after another,we kissed,drank more,smoked finally it was closing time. We decided to continue the evening. At taxi she started giving me tests how we are not going to have sex, I was like yeah whatever I just wanna go to sleep. Arrived at her apartment, we took our clothes off and had a memorable night, the night I won’t forget. Just thinking about it now makes me smile.
It was my most memorable experience when comes to neediness. I wasn’t needy, I didn’t seek anything and a magical thing happened. Wonderful experience with a wonderful person came to me when I wasn’t needy and or clingy. I gave love instead of chasing it.
At 21 I applied to school to study tourism. I went to the interview hungover from the previous night of drinking wine I didn’t need the school that much cause I had a well-paid job back then, but I wanted to get myself a real profession. I actually got it in.
Over the years, I noticed that my lack of neediness was like a magnet. I felt like people wanted to hang out with me.I made lots of friends and had amazing things happened to me when I was satisfied with myself. I didn’t need anything. I went to clubs, got drunk, was happy, made out with girls and went home with some of the girls 😉
Then I there was times when I vibrated that needy energy from me and girls could sense it and the attraction was gone. I have had too many nights where my only goal was to hook up with somebody, I was outcome dependant which caused me to act needy and was not having any fun and guess what nothing happened, rejection after rejection.I went home to cry…inside
2 years ago during summer, I was seeking jobs and going to job interviews. I managed to get a job but at the same time another job interview came.So I had one interview and later that same day I was going to sign work agreement. I decided to go and check it out.
It was my most relaxed and best interview I ever had. I had no outcome dependence whatsoever and it showed. I didn’t try to impress or kiss ass to get the job. The interviewer wanted me to work for them, I didn’t take it.
So How to stop being needy?
Key to stop being needy is to have an actual life. That’s attractive. Start respecting yourself. Learn to enjoy your company, if you feel bored when you are alone what are other people going to feel around you?
Learn to love yourself.Accept yourself.Those things will kill neediness. They are hard to do but at least fake it till you make it, someday it will happen. It took me years to accept myself and learn to love myself.
Most important is that you must find passions and hobbies.Find what you love to do. Start playing an instrument, enroll in salsa or martial art course.
Start enjoying your company more.
Do something that you can tell people you do.
Get Busy. Get active.
Of course, you will feel needy if you don’t have anything going on in your life.
Of course, you will needy if other people are the only source of good emotions.
I m so busy these days with my passions like writing and music that partying and chasing girls are not so important to me anymore. I switched my focus. I do enjoy hanging out with my friends and meeting cool girls but have other things in my life. They keep me from getting needy. It’s a good feeling when you don’t need anything, everything is a bonus for me.
I would like to meet a right girl, but you know what she will be a nice bonus in my life and I hope I will be a nice bonus in her life. I would like to meet more cool people that I could befriend, it will be a nice bonus. I view many things as a nice bonus. I want it but I don’t need it.
Find internal happiness from inside you. Start vibrating good positive energy Stop leeching energy. Enrich your environment and other people’s lives. Give first then receive. Give and don’t expect nothing in return.
When you do that, magic will happen.
At first, when I started this blog I wanted to get many visitors and get my site noticed right away. Now I just write from my heart, write and write and let things evolve slowly.
I don’t chase people and hope they click on my site if they do that’s awesome if they don’t its okay. I m happy just writing and building it. I enjoy the process. Creating is a fulfilling and enjoyable experience.
Create yourself a life. When you have a life other people are open to coming into it. Some visit,some stay.
Become interesting.Become a person of many things. Become a person who people want to hang out with.Become a source of good emotions. People like that.
Start living. Start doing.
Spend your time doing cool stuff.
Neediness can’t stay in your life if you are a kickass positive person who has cool shit in their life.
Neediness can’t stay in your life if you woke up today and you have interesting things to do.
Kill your neediness and let the magic happen my friend.