Do you appreciate your current life?
In the end of august after hard weekend party, I started having troubles to breathe normally. I had constant shortness of breath, needing to take an extra deep breath. Some days I even had chest tightness.
I started googling my symptoms which I don’t recommend since you always find something really bad.
I was convinced that it was my heart was fucking up. I stopped smoking years ago (link) it couldn’t have been COPD not at this early age.
So I was really down for days thinking about very negative stuff. Didn’t feel like writing at all. I was thinking of all the partying I have done in my life especially at a younger age and was feeling remorse.
For 2 weeks I was focused on my breathing nothing else. I was painting dark pictures of me not functioning anymore. Every time I did some form of exercise I would monitor my breath.
Breathing is one of those things we never even think about how important it is. How much it affects our life. Reality really hit me in the face.A year ago I was pissed off about politics now I was worried about me breathing normally.
I finally got fed up and made a doctor appointment. I m not a religious person but in the evening one day I put my hands together and said: “please take this shit away”. It was my way of praying to somebody up there,maybe my guardian angel.
3 days later I went to a doctor and got my lungs x rayed. She listened to my lungs and heart, nothing suspicious.
At the same time, my symptoms were going away. I was feeling more energetic and went to the gym and had a nice workout. I was so happy
My doctor called me and said my lungs are fine, I m happy.
I went to my mother’s place and took a morning walk around the neighborhood.
I felt so happy and fulfilled just being able to breathe normally and walk without exhaustion. I smelt the polluted city air and looked at the trees. It was beautiful, I felt so alive and well.
Meditation session in the morning before I left the house had definitely something to do with it.
Every time meditate I feel much calmer, happier and freer. I can’t recommend it enough. TM meditation is much easier t o me than regular since you pronounce mantra that helps you get in the blissful meditative state.
Healthier than taking a valium.
Being outside got me thinking about the small things we have in life.
How fucking great it is to have your health.
We take so many things for granted:
Someone doesn’t have those things. I watched Gerard Butlers drama film Machine Gun Preacher, true story drama about an ex-con who becomes religious and goes to Sudan. There he builds children´shelter and it becomes his mission in life.
It was a real tear jerker. Someone out there people are getting killed for no reason, they don’t have shelter, water, food.There are countries where there is a war going on.
Look at Syria, once a beautiful country now in ruins, some people don’t have homes anymore and they live in daily danger. It angers me.
Though I m not swimming in money and don’t have a luxury apartment I love my simple life. I have friends, my health so far, I have hobbies. I live in a peaceful country so far. I have freedom to pursue almost anything, no matter who I am.
Somebody would kill for those things.
These days I wake up happy with a morning hard on. I love that I get hard ons and I don’t have to use viagra. I love that I have good libido and I get attracted to a woman. These simple little things that I didn’t used to think about.
I can tell you that when I had shortness of breath I wasn’t thinking how new my TV is or how bad I want a new laptop. I wasn’t thinking about my fat percentage and do I look good.
I was thinking if my heart was pumping enough blood and were my lungs clean.
When you fear of losing a basic thing to you like your ability to breath, other superficial things seem so unimportant.
All the other bullshit seems so small and useless. It puts everything in perspective.
So how to start to appreciate your life?
Read some history and realize how bad it was in those times. I haven’t watched Game of Thrones yet, but I heard it is a brutal and graphic show. You think it’s just fiction? Not long ago people were burned for being witches and executed for stupid reasons in our civilized western world.
Shit like this still happens in Africa and the Middle East.
Just not that long time ago Stalin and Hitler killed millions of people. My ancestor’s life was a horror show. My grandmother used to tell me stories about those times and what her family had to do. It was a nightmare, not a life.
I have it so good right now where I live, I don’t have to live in that kind of a time.
Ask your grandparents about the old days it will make you appreciate your life.
So think about all those things that you right now have. How great is to live in peace.
How good is to walk outside your house and you don’t have to be afraid of getting shot and blown to pieces. That’s some people’s daily reality in some parts of the world.
How great it is to have a friend with you can talk to.
How awesome it is to have clean warm water every day. How awesome it is to breathe air with your own lungs
Ask yourself these questions.
Do you wake up in physical pain?
Can you move by yourself
Can you breathe without effort?
Is there a war in your country?
Is your life daily in danger?
Do you have food in your refrigerator?
Do you have running water
Do you have a friend or family?
Do you have enough money to pay for your rent and food?
Very simple questions but important questions. I have no problems mentioned above, but a lot of people do. Think about how lucky you are.
Things we take for granted can be taken away very fast. Stop and appreciate those things. Stop to smell the roses as cliche as it sounds.
Enjoy what’s you have right now.
Take a walk outside, breath the air, you are alive, someday this all will end.